


We Need To Talk About What Happened Last Night

by herondick



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Time, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26827462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herondick/pseuds/herondick
Summary: Cordelia and James are engaged. But something happens that changes James's view of her.
Relationships: Cordelia Carstairs & James Herondale, Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale
Kudos: 43





	We Need To Talk About What Happened Last Night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: all characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

“Cordelia!” James called out. “Please stop running away from me!” He had been chasing her all throughout the Institute, and into the courtyard that surrounded it.

She had arrived a little bit earlier, meaning to talk to Lucie about something. James had walked in on the two of them in the library, deep in conversation. Once she had seen him, she stormed out of the room, walking through the halls until she had eventually walked out of the Institute doors. But James had been following her the whole time. He needed to talk to her.

“Cordelia, please stop!” he begged, his voice cracking slightly. Ever since last night, he viewed her in a whole new light. When he had seen her with Lucie, he had noticed the delicate bow of her mouth, the sharp, beautiful angle of her cheek bones. He had always known that Cordelia was beautiful, but he had never viewed her as anything more than a close friend. Yes, they had kissed in the whispering room, but that had been nothing more than a show. But now, when he looked at her, it was almost as if he had woken up from a long dream, one that had taken over every bit of his mind, controlling his thoughts. A part of him wished that he could take her back to the whispering room, and finish what they started.

They had reached the gardens behind the Institute. Cordelia had slowed her running down to a fast walk. James used his long legs to keep up with her. A part of him wondered why she was running from him. What had he done to make her so upset? he wondered. But, more importantly, how could he fix it?

Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks, turning her body around so she was facing him. Her face was flushed with anger, her full lips forming a line. She glared at him, her black eyes piercing. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”

James stopped walking, the breath leaving his lungs at her words. Last night? The events from the previous night were a blur. He remembered Grace, with her cold stare and sad voice. He remembered taking the bracelet off, and handing it over to her. After that, he only remembered stumbling to his bedroom, almost as if he were drunk, ignoring the concerned look he had received from Will in the hallway. “What happened last night, Daisy?”

Cordelia laughed, a deep, dark laugh. One that held no amusement, only anger, with a hint of sadness. “You mean you don’t know? You don’t remember?” She scoffed, putting her hands on her hips, and looking away from him. “Really, James. I know all of this is fake. I know you don’t truly want to marry me. I know you don’t love me and you never will. But you could at least show me some respect, as your future wife.”

James stared at her, not knowing how to respond. You don’t love me. You never will. Future wife. His mind was racing, trying desperately to remember what had happened the night before that would cause Cordelia to confront him like this. “Cordelia,” he said, taking a step towards her, “What are you talking about? Last night?” He shook his head, trying to understand.

Cordelia was staring at him, her mouth parted, not believing what he was saying. “Do you think I’m stupid, James?” She shook her head incredulously. “Do you really not remember?”

“I remember Grace coming to the Institute. I recall her saying something to me about leaving.. I refused, so she took back the bracelet she had given me. After that, I don’t remember much,” he finished, taking a step closer to Cordelia.

At the mention of Grace’s name, Cordelia’s face paled. She swallowed hard. “Last night, I came here, to speak with you about some wedding plans. Your mother told me you were in the training room, so that’s where I went. When I got there-,” she stopped, catching her breath. “When I got there, you were kissing Grace. On the lips. I even knocked on the door to get your attention, but you didn’t notice.” Her voice was quiet, and full of pain. “James, I know all of this is a charade. I know you are doing this do save my reputation. But, I do feel as though I deserve a little respect. I know you don’t love me, but the least you could do is to act like it.”

Her words knocked the breath out of James in an instant. He had kissed Grace? He took another few steps forward, grabbing her by the shoulders. “Daisy,” he pleaded, his voice cracking, “you have to believe me. Whatever you saw, I truly don’t remember any of it.” His mind was racing, trying desperately to remember. His memories from the previous night were clouded and fuzzy, almost like it had all been a dream.

Tears threatened to fall from Cordelia’s eyes, and James cursed himself for causing her so much pain, even if he didn’t remember what he had done. She swallowed, taking a deep breath. “I know you love her. I don’t blame you, either. She is very beautiful.” She looked at the ground, her long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks. “James, I do not think I can be in a marriage where my husband has eyes for another woman. I know that, from the beginning, we had an understanding with this whole situation. But, I just can’t do it to myself.” Her voice trailed off, quivering slightly.

James felt his throat tighten. He had to fight to get his words out. “Are you saying that you no longer wish to marry me?” He was surprised at the pain in his voice.

She looked up at him, and this time a tear fell down her cheek. “James, I want nothing more than to be your wife. I have loved you for as long as I can remember, and I will probably never stop loving you. I just can’t marry someone who doesn’t love me back.” Her voice was quiet, but carried strength. “I don’t care about what happens to me or my reputation. My own happiness, and yours, is more important.”

James moved his hands up to cup her face. “Daisy, I might not remember what happened last night. But when I woke up this morning, I could only think about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you protect the ones you care about. Everything about you.” He ran his thumbs along her cheekbones, looking deeply into her eyes. “If you think, for one second, that I would not be happy marrying you, then you have lost your mind. I love you, Cordelia Carstairs. I want you marry you.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide. “What changed? I mean, you never acted like you loved me before. At least not in the way I wanted,” she said. The tears had stopped, and now her eyes were questioning.

James shook his head. “Nothing has changed, Daisy. I- I have always loved you.”

She squinted her eyes at him. “But you didn’t realize your feelings until this morning?” She gabbed his wrist, the one that used to wear the bracelet. “Your bracelet. It’s gone.”

“I told you. Grace took it back when I wouldn’t leave with her.”

Cordelia raised her eyebrows. “Hmm,” she murmured, tightening her grip on his wrist. “Very interesting.”

Later, James would ask her what she was thinking, and why the bracelet had piqued her interest. But now, he could only feel how close she was. He could smell her scent of lavender and vanilla. He remembered them in the whispering room, clinging to each other like nothing else mattered. He remembered the way her mouth perfectly molding to his, her soft moans and gasps as he ran his hands along her body. Desire washed over him, and he suddenly wanted to be tangled up with her like that again. “Daisy,” he whispered, his voice deep with wanting.

She let his wrist go free, moving her hand up to touch his face. “Do you mean it? You really love me?”

James pulled her in, so close their lips were touching. “I mean it. I love you so much. I never want to lose you.” He kissed her then, flicking his tongue out to tease her bottom lip. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lifting her up. She was running her fingers through his hair, all down his back. Her touch made all thoughts of sense and propriety leave his head.

She pulled her lips away from his, moving them down his jaw and neck. “We’re outside,” she said, giggling softly. She wanted this as much as he did. “What if someone decides to talk a late stroll through the gardens?”

James walked them over to one of the benches that sat beside a rather large bush. “I guess we will just have to give them a good show, then.” He knew it wasn’t likely anyone would be coming out here. If he thought there was a chance, he wouldn’t risk taking her like this. “Unless you’re not comfortable with that, of course. We can stop if you want to.”

She pulled her lips away from his neck, looking at him. “No,” she murmured, gasping as her back made contact with the metal bench. “I want this. I want you.”

James crawled on top of her. He kept one foot on the ground to steady himself as he bent to kiss her chest. “You’re all mine, Daisy.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging on his dark curls. She arched her back into him as he moved his hands to the laces of her dress. “Forever,” she said breathlessly.

He pulled on the laces, working them free so he could roam his hands along her body. He moved them up to cup her breasts, running his thumbs over her nipples.

She gracelessly pulled on the buttons of his shirt. She ran her hands up and down his chest. “You’re so beautiful,” she said, her voice dark with desire.

James gave a soft laugh. “I beg to differ. Nothing is more beautiful than you.”

She sat up to kiss him. It was a sweet kiss, but it made James’s blood run hot with need. She laid back down on the bench, situating herself into a more comfortable position. She then moved her hand down, starting to unbutton his trousers. “Make love to me, James.”

He moved his hands down under her dress, all the way up until he could place them on her hips. She had unbuttoned his trousers, and had already pushed them down so his cock was out. She wrapped a hand around, shyly stroking it. He groaned softly, positioning himself between her legs. “Oh, I have every intention of doing just that.”

He used his fingers to find her opening, running them up and down her slick folds. She moaned at his touch, biting her lip to try and stay quiet. He watched her face as he pushed one in, making sure she wasn’t in pain. He shouldn’t have worried. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open slightly. He added another, pumping them in and out, making sure she was ready for him.

Under other circumstances, James would have taken time to pleasure her, finding the little things that made her back arch and her legs shake. But right now, they were outside, on a bench, in the middle of the Institute gardens. It had to be quick, but he would do everything in his power to not hurt her.

He moved his face up to hers, kissing her as he lined himself up with her entrance. He studied her face carefully as he slid in. He moaned at the feeling of her around him. She was so tight and warm. He turned his focus back to her. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voices strained.

Her eyes were shut, her face pinched as if she were in pain. “It- it just hurts a little bit. But I’m alright. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.” She ran her hands along his back to encourage him on. “Keep going.”

He began to move, slowly thrusting in and out. His eyes watered at the sensation. His breath was coming out in pants. “Daisy,” he moaned into her ear. “I love you. I love you.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him into her. “Faster,” she breathed. “Harder.” Her skin was flushed, and glistened with sweat. She was so perfect.

James pounded into her harder, placing his hands on the bench for more leverage. He had never thought of sex as something that was so animalistic and possessive. He was finding that he wanted nothing more than for Cordelia to come apart around him. He wanted her in different positions, though he had no name or experience for any of them.

Cordelia had become so loud that she had to place her hand over her mouth to keep her moans in. James didn’t care how loud she was. He liked her moaning his name, screaming for him. He felt her body tighten around his cock. Her legs were locked tightly around his waist, holding him in place. Her back arched and she bit down on her fingers, screaming his name as she came.

After a few more deep thrusts, James found his release, not bothering to pull out. He collapsed onto her, only half minding his weight. He could hear heart heart hammering in her chest. He wrapped his arms around her body, holding her close. “You are so beyond belief, my Daisy.”

She laughed softly, running her fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe I get to have you for the rest of my life,” she whispered, pulling his face up to hers.

James kissed her. “Only a few more weeks until the wedding.”

She sat up, reluctantly pushing him off her. “I can’t believe we just did that. On a bench.” She was laughing, pulling her dress back on.

James pulled his trousers back up, then looked at her. “The next time will be much better. I promise.” Once she had put herself back together, he offered her his arm.

She took it happily, looking up at him with excitement in her eyes. “I find it hard to believe that it can get better than that.”

James smiled to himself, still thinking of the positions he wanted her in. He let his mind wander to the things he would do to make her scream for him. Instead, he said, “I can’t wait to marry you, Daisy.”

She cuddled in close to his side as they walked back to the Institute, plastering innocence onto her beautiful face. No one could know they had just made love on a bench.


End file.
